Where did my fear go?

Until last year when I ran my first marathon (look at my header logo), 42.195 meters seemed like a distance that only super humans could run. I remember how I as a young kid sat in front of the TV at looked at the marathon runners at the Olympic Games and stared in awe.

I started last year barely being able to run 2 km. 6 weeks later I ran my first 20 km ever. As the year progressed I ran a number of half marathons and as my last event I completed my first marathon in snow, -5 C and 10 m/s. I remember how I cried a number of times during the race due freezing in soaked clothes, the pain from fighting my own limitations and feeling really alone (though I weren't). Is was in somewhat disbelieve that I finally in the dark crossed the finish line. Ohh what a feeling!

My next marathon was nearly half a year later namely Copenhagen Marathon. I sadly got an injury after 7 km but the expectation of my friends waiting for me later in route made me keep running though slowly and in pain. When I finally reached the goal I hated everything about running. It took me several weeks to accept the medal I had received. None of my friends had shown up and I knew that I should have stopped instead I had an injury that meant I was grounded for some time. Actually one colleague DID show up just I as reached the finish line. She ran in front of me cheering but as she told me later my eyes were empty and I didn't see her at all. That race weren't worth it and I never wanted to run a marathon again.

Time passed and I started thinking about giving it another chance. A couple of months ago the Sea Legs Girl and especially a good colleague talked me into signing up for a marathon 10 minutes before it started. I hadn't prepared for a marathon at all but that fact also meant that I could relax mentally. I had nothing to prove and no one to disappoint. I did in no way make a perfect run but I completed and without any kind of injury. My appetite for running marathons was back.

I've had a number of races since then including my first ultra! I haven't feared any of them and they have all felt great. Realizing that I could complete a marathon even on an empty stomach and not having gone through weeks of carefully planed training runs and diet gave running a whole new dimension of .. freedom.

My next marathon is on Sunday and I have 2 more planed before the end of the year :)