Monday, December 5, 2016

Hero to Zero to ?

These last 2 years has been a roller coaster. I have been divorced, taken on the role of being a single dad, bought a house and a car to create a home, been someone's rock and recently lost my work through more than 10 years. Not because I did a poor job, I have worked my arse off and gotten every bonus possible. No, because my department is moving to Canada. I was offered to follow, but I can't, it would mean loosing my girls. I still have to find a new job.

I stopped running this summer. After doing too much in too little time I ended up with a ruptured Achilles. Nearly every year there have been something that I have had to fight myself back from. A broken bone, high blood pressure medication side effects, ruptured tendons, broken family. This summer I just lost my passion to be a superhero. I just wanted to be normal again.

I started running in 2010 and within that year I did my first marathon and then ultras. I focused on running instead of things that were important, should have been important. This I realized this summer.

This year has been harder than any year and I have seen a few hard ones. There are many things I would love to change about this year but I can't. I have done my best in all aspects. I just tried to do too much and hence failed miserably in nearly everything. This I realized this summer.

I don't know where life will take me now. I am not even sure I have hit the 'bottom' yet. With things coming to a conclusion I am building an foundation to grow on from here.

This year has been tough but someone told me something that has kept me focused:"When walking through hell, keep going!". I am from Jutland. I have no doubt that I will make it. This post is not about feeling doomed. I just wonder what the '?' mark in the title will be in the future.

I stopped running this summer. I wonder if it is time to start running again.

4 comments:

  1. Hej Daniel

    Det er altid tid til at starte med at løbe!

    Jeg kan ikke sige at jeg ved hvordan du har det - men skilsmisse og det an miste jobbet er hårdt. Jeg har heldigvis stadig mit job, (endnu) men blev også skilt i foråret 2016. Det er ikke ligefrem en dans på roser. Selv om vi var enige om bruddet er det hårdt at ændre så radikalt på en livsform som man har været vandt til i mange år (vi var gift i 12 år, inden vi blev skilt)

    Min x har vores datter det meste af tiden og det har godt nok været mærkeligt at vænne sig til at være SÅ meget alene.

    Sygdom har også gjort at jeg de seneste to - tre år ikke har kunne løbe meget. Jeg har haft mega meget nældefeber og hævelser på fødder og i to år har lægerne ikke kunne finde en medicin der har hjulpet. Endelig for godt et år siden fik jeg tilbudt en behandling der afhjalp nældefeberen og jeg har kunne genoptage løbet. Ikke så meget som i "gamle dage" men jeg kan da træne og det er fantastisk at komme i skoven bare at løbe 5-7 km. Det giver et kick - så kom i gang gamle ven! Du vil nyde det, men gør det på et andet niveau end tidligere.

    keep going!

    T

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  2. Det har været et skidt år, men du er altid velkommen på heden. Der hvor solen aldrig går ned :-)

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