Hero to Zero to ?

These last 2 years has been a roller coaster. I have been divorced, taken on the role of being a single dad, bought a house and a car to create a home, been someone's rock and recently lost my work through more than 10 years. Not because I did a poor job, I have worked my arse off and gotten every bonus possible. No, because my department is moving to Canada. I was offered to follow, but I can't, it would mean loosing my girls. I still have to find a new job.

I stopped running this summer. After doing too much in too little time I ended up with a ruptured Achilles. Nearly every year there have been something that I have had to fight myself back from. A broken bone, high blood pressure medication side effects, ruptured tendons, broken family. This summer I just lost my passion to be a superhero. I just wanted to be normal again.

I started running in 2010 and within that year I did my first marathon and then ultras. I focused on running instead of things that were important, should have been important. This I realized this summer.

This year has been harder than any year and I have seen a few hard ones. There are many things I would love to change about this year but I can't. I have done my best in all aspects. I just tried to do too much and hence failed miserably in nearly everything. This I realized this summer.

I don't know where life will take me now. I am not even sure I have hit the 'bottom' yet. With things coming to a conclusion I am building an foundation to grow on from here.

This year has been tough but someone told me something that has kept me focused:"When walking through hell, keep going!". I am from Jutland. I have no doubt that I will make it. This post is not about feeling doomed. I just wonder what the '?' mark in the title will be in the future.

I stopped running this summer. I wonder if it is time to start running again.